After Covid-19, and with many commenting that mental health issues are on the rise, there has never been more of a need for mental health education (and mental health professionals) for teachers and school staff who are working with our youth.
I hear many stories of students who are obverstimulated, overwhelmed, angry, disregulated, and frustrated in their classes, and their teachers who do not feel prepared to deal with the intensity of their student's emotions. Teachers who struggle to understand what is happening for their student(s), and who are unable to respond appropriately because the have a classroom of other students that they have to attend to. It's a very difficult situation to be in for all parties involved and can leave both the students and the teachers feeling hopeless that anything will ever change; wondering if they will ever get the support that they need.
While I am sure that many would agree with me when I say that the education system should be utilizing therapists and counsellors for both staff and student, I want to take a moment to offer 3 simple tools for responding to a student (or anyone, really) who is verbally expressing heightened emotions...
1. Be curious about their emotions. Ask questions about the nuances of their feelings, about their somatic experience of their emotions, or about their history with that emotion. The questions are endless. Just be curious and non-judgemental.
2. Repeat/reflect their emotions back to them. Show them that you were paying attention. Use their words or imagery. Let them hear their own emotions coming from the mouth of someone else. They need to feel heard, not challenged.
3. Offer your own emotions to them. How did you feel when you heard them express such sadness? Were you sad too? Did it sound painful or scary to you? How would you feel if you were in their situation? Trapped? Scared? Angry? Tell them that.
Whether this sounds easy or difficult, the goal is simply to hold space for the person's emotions. When the very foundation of the worldview you have built to keep you safe is comprised of painful experiences and loneliness, a single kind teacher (who's job it is to judge your performance all day) isn't going to suddenly leave you feeling safe enough to tear down your shelter that is still keeping you safe. As teachers, you might want to care for them AND challenge them, but this can be difficult when the child is feeling like they are ONLY challenged at home.
I don't say this to dishearten you, educators. I say this to help you take some of the burden off your shoulders. Sometimes, you can do everything perfectly, and still "fail" (yes, I just quoted Star Trek).